I got evicted because I couldn't pay the rent because I haven't had a steady job since '05, ok really '06, but '05 just ryhmed. God Bless my landlord, Gloria, for allowing a tenant like me to live life late for so long. My tags on my car are out of date because I'm shuffling money around, like Vegas cards, showing favoritism, paying one bill over the other at a time because I have to, and not because I want to. I used to work for the Wayans, ok let me stop here because I'm gaged and can't say anything until I'm told I can say something.
My body has ballooned in weight because my wealthy-healthy way of living is now $3 buck specials from fast food joints that serve Super Sized servings of heart attack, diabetes and high cholesterol. My girlfriend, who's now my ex girlfriend, left me for some dude named Nate whose family made a fortune off of building gates because She got tired of paying for all our dates. The hair smack dead in the middle of my head has vanished, like a magician's act, leaving me with a sun roof that I can never close again, Gone!! and I'm trying to hold on, so I do the black man's version of a comb over and wear baseball caps matched perfectly with every thread below the cap. I tell lies because I don't think the truth is good enough. I hate white people who hate black people, even though I'm friends with a few of them and I hate black people who hate other black people and refuse the idea of unity, even though I'm friends with a few of them. I watch more porn than a porn director and read less books than a dyslexic.
My teeth need cleaning and my breath stinks more than normal because I haven't seen a dentist since having insurance that would fund my visits. My face isn't as soft and clear as it used to be when I could afford Kiehl's, Dermalogica and all that other personal pampering. My penis doesn't swell as thick as it used to swell because the high cholesterol from the bad diet blocks the blood from successfully being injected. I drink more than I used to drink, so to me, I'm starting to transform into the father who never raised me, something I always dreaded becoming. My Mother was my strength, but She also is my weakness because whenever I wanna feel sympathy for my own short comings I excavate that pain in order to feel something.
My credit is shot and I owe more money than the USA owes China. I hide my car wherever I can hide it, so that it doesn't get repoed because I only owe three grand or so. I went from promising to fitting just about every Black Male stereotype, except couch potate playing Madden all day, but I might as well since my time is wasted doing nothing else productive.
I voted for Barack just because he was black, but I'm starting to feel like I'm getting the same results now that I would be getting if I had voted for any of the other candidates, well maybe not that Sarah Palin chick. I only go to church to hear the choir sing and after that you can find me sleeping. I don't eat pork, but I like the smell of bacon. I like the idea of being a Muslim, but don't agree with the Women having to cover their faces. I Love the Person I could be, but hate what I see when it's comes to facing the glass that reflects me to me. The Truth is..............